How Cloud Stole Christmas
by Dark Chaos Demon
Summary: It’s time for the Gold saucer Christmas production and Cloud, Aries and Red XIII have been “forced” into becoming actors for the play, Along with a very unlikely Narrator.


Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Final Fantasy 7 or the story of 'How The Grinch Stole Christmas'

Summary: It's time for the Gold saucer Christmas production and Cloud, Aries and Red XIII have been "forced" into becoming actors for the play, Along with a very unlikely Narrator. Based in an alternative universe

Genre: Humor/general

Rating: K+ (probably could be K but i just want to make sure...)

A/N this was only originally written to shut up my little cousin as he was annoying me greatly and was written in like 20 minutes. So if you don't think this is very good that's why…

"Talking"  
Actions  
_Narrator_

* * *

How The Cloud Stole Christmas 

FLASH BACK

Cloud, Aries, Barrett and Tifa had just arrived at the Gold Saucer by a request they had received from their ninja friend Yuffie. Cloud had only been convinced to go because of Aries prompting, where the others had jumped at the chance to get out of helping reeve continue in his job of rebuilding Midgar. They still had the gold pass from before when they had been on the mission to defeat sephiroth so they had no trouble getting in.

As soon as they enter the park Aries is pounced by a very excited looking Red XIII and Cloud is stunned by a very glomp like hug from Yuffie. Vincent and Cid are standing back looking glad that Yuffie is not playing attention to them anymore. The ninja girl finally releases Cloud from the hug she is giving him and Red stops licking Aries' face and turns to Tifa and pounces her. Cloud raises his hand in a wave to his comrades who are standing back and asks Yuffie "why did you call us here?"

Yuffie forgetting that they had been told is snapped back to reality and does a twirl over acting every move she makes until she notices the rest of the group becoming increasingly annoyed. She quickly says "ok I have called you here because I have volunteered you all to help put on the children's Christmas production…" everyone's apart from Aries' face drops and turns into anger the group shouting all at the same time "YOU DID WHAT" Yuffie tries to look innocent but with the death glares which she is receiving doesn't make it easy for her. Trying to recover herself she says to "I have some more good news for you…" she is cut off by cloud saying "if it is not that I can get out of this then I don't want to hear it" Yuffie looks nervously as she says "no it's not that… the good news is your playing the leading roll" that was the last thing cloud wanted to hear and he snaps drawing his sword instantly and placing it to the throat of Yuffie before saying "please tell me your joking…" yuffie sweating very nervously now shakes her heads to say no. Cloud lowers his blade and slumps to the floor looking very depressed. Yuffie tries to cheer him up by saying "well you think you got it bad… Vince has a bigger job than you… he's the narrator" Vincent looks up and brings his gun out threatening to shoot her for what she just said. Yuffie knew what she was getting her self in for but continues anyway… "Aries you have an acting roll as well… and please Vince… stop pointing that gun at me… it is making me uncomfortable…" Vincent lowers his gun and mumbles in disgust at his job. Yuffie then says "Red you have the final roll…" Barrett says "ok so spiky Aries Vince and Red have parts, what are the $&!# are the rest of us doing?" Yuffie spins on the spot and says "well you Tifa and cid are doing the backstage stuff…" Barrett and Cid look questioning at Yuffie, she puts her hands on her hips and looks annoyed "it's not like I could make either you or Cid the narrator… I mean you 2 have a tendency to swear every other word… plus Barrett you wouldn't fit in the costume Cloud has to wear and Tifa no offence Aries was just more suited for the roll." Cloud asks "ok so well were doing all this, what are you going to be doing?" Yuffie again spins on the spot and makes herself dizzy; she stops herself from falling over before saying "I'm going to be babysitting all the kids". The group at least feel relieved that they don't have that job.

Vincent asks "is there any way to back out of this Yuffie?" the young ninja tilts her head at Vince "nope… once you're signed up you are committed to see it through. Besides it is for the kids, and you don't want to disappoint them do you?" Vincent again mumbles something under his breath at Yuffie

(END FLASH BACK)

The Curtains open to a Christmas Scene in the background and the foreground looking like the top of a mountain. Vincent's monotone voice is projected to the crowd.

_Every Who  
Down in Who-ville  
Liked Christmas a lot... _

_But the Grinch,  
Who lived just North of Who-ville,  
Did NOT!_

Cloud refuses to go out on stage, and is heard complaining by the audience, he is eventually pushed out by Tifa. The reason for him not wanting to go out becomes obvious as he is wearing a Green Fur outfit. There is an uproar of laughter which the source could be pinpointed to a certain ninja girl sitting in the front row

_The Grinch hated Christmas!  
The whole Christmas season!_

Cloud attempts to put on an angry face but he doesn't quite achieve what he wanted until the laughing of Yuffie gets to him and he becomes angry at her

_Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.  
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right._

Cloud brings out a screw driver and pretends to tighten an invisible screw in his neck

_It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.  
But I think that the most likely reason of all  
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small._

Cloud pulls a life sized picture out of nowhere and holds it up so the crowd can see; it is an outline of a human body, which could easily be the outline of Barrett, with a tiny dot of red where the heart should be.

_But,  
Whatever the reason,  
His heart or his shoes,  
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,  
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown  
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.  
For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath  
Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath._

Cloud takes a deep breath preparing to speak his first line but for a second can't remember what it is. There are a few laughs heard from the crowd at this and he finally remembers

"And they're hanging their stockings!" _he snarled with a sneer._  
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"

**  
**_Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming,_

Cloud performs the actions as Vincent the Narrator speaks"I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!"**  
**

_For, tomorrow, he knew..._

_...All the Who girls and boys  
Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!  
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!  
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!_

_Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast.  
And they'd feast! And they'd feast!  
And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!  
They would start on Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast-beast  
Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least!_

_And THEN  
They'd do something he liked least of all!  
Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,  
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.  
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing!_

_They'd sing! And they'd sing!  
AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!  
And the more the Grinch thought of the Who-Christmas-Sing  
The more the Grinch thought,_

For every item on the list Vincent reads Cloud some how manages to pull a picture of the item out of thin air.

"I must stop this whole thing! Why for fifty-three years I've put up with it now! I MUST stop Christmas from coming! ...But HOW?"

_Then he got an idea!  
An awful idea!  
THE GRINCH  
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!_

"I know just what to do!" The Grinch Laughed in his throat.

_And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.  
And he chuckled, and clucked,_

Cloud starts cutting random pieces of material acting out what Vincent was saying and the crowd laughs as Tifa pushes a manikin with a Santa suit on stage before quickly running off again.

"What a great Grinchy trick!

Cloud Throws the Santa Coat over his shoulders and places the hat on his head

"With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick!"

He looks around the stage as if checking he has everything, he then acts as if he has a brain wave

"All I need is a reindeer..."**  
**

_The Grinch looked around.  
But since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.  
Did that stop the old Grinch...?  
No! The Grinch simply said,_

**  
**"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"

**  
**_So he called his dog Max. Then he took some red thread  
And he tied a big horn on top of his head._

Cloud whistles loudly and Red XIII plods on stage looking less than happy about wearing a Dog Suit and sits by Clouds feet, Yuffie is heard saying "AWWW isn't he so cute, I just want to hug him" loudly, and in the type of speech you would expect from someone talking to a baby, as Red had walked on stage. Cloud once again pulling the object out of nowhere ties the horn to Red XIII's head.

_THEN  
He loaded some bags  
And some old empty sacks  
On a ramshackle sleigh  
And he hitched up old Max._

_Then the Grinch said,_

Barrett pushes a sleigh and quickly runs off stage realising that the crowd can see him. Cloud places some conveniently placed bags on the sleigh

"Giddyap!"

The curtains close and many cussing which sound like they are coming from both Cid and Barrett is heard by the crowd as they try quickly to change the scenery. Vincent speaks up to try and cover the sound but doesn't succeed very well

**  
**_And the sleigh started down  
Toward the homes where the Whos  
Lay a-snooze in their town._

All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.  
All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care  
When he came to the first house in the square.

The curtains do not open but the crowd hears Cloud say

"This is stop number one,"

Vincent continues, and the crowd hears someone drop a box and hears Cid shouting at who ever dropped it, Vincent starts shouting to cover what Cid is shouting to the backstage crew from the crowd

_The old Grinchy Claus hissed  
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist._

_Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.  
But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.  
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two._

The Curtains open to a house scene, full of all types' of gifts and packages scattered about. Cloud sitting in the fire place, Cloud mumbles to himself in a tone which is inaudible to the crowd

_  
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue  
Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row._

"These stockings,"_he grinned,_"are the first things to go!"

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,  
Around the whole room, and he took every present!  
Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller-skates! Drums!  
Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!  
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,  
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!

_Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast!  
He took the Who-pudding! He took the roast beast!  
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.  
Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-hash!_

_Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee._

Cloud moves around the stage picking up random things and putting them in a sack

"And NOW!"_grinned the Grinch,_"I will stuff up the tree!"

Cloud goes to pick up the tree and stops as Vincent continues to narrate

_And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove  
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.  
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who!_

Aries walks on stage wearing an night-gown acting as though she had only just woken up

**  
**_Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was not more than two._

_The Grinch had been caught by this little Who daughter  
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.  
She stared at the Grinch and said,_

Aries seemingly the only one happy about acting this play puts on the cutest look she can which earns a loud "AWWWWW" from Yuffie

"Santy Claus, why, Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?"

_But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick  
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!_

"Why, my sweet little tot,"_the fake Santy Claus lied,_"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side. So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear. I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."

_And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head  
And he got her a drink and he sent he to bed.  
And when Cindy-Lou Who went to bed with her cup,_

Cloud performs the actions slightly nervously, Aries notices this and giggles but hides it well, Cloud gives a sigh of relieve as Aries exits the stage but quickly returns to his roll

_  
HE went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!_

_Then the last thing he took  
Was the log for their fire.  
Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar.  
On their walls he left nothing but hooks, and some wire._

_And the one speck of food  
All he left in the house  
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse._

The curtains close again. Tifa, Barrett and Cid are once again heard behind the curtain changing the scene. Vincent is heard mumbling something about been quiet as Cid has some of the scenery dropped on his foot and he screams out loud. Vincent then he realises he was mumbling into the microphone and quickly continues with his Narration.

_Then  
He did the same thing  
To the other Whos' houses_

Leaving crumbs  
Much too small  
For the other Whos' mouses!

_It was quarter past dawn...  
All the Whos, still a-bed  
All the Whos, still a-snooze  
When he packed up his sled,  
Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!  
The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!_

_Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Crumpit,  
He rode to the tiptop to dump it!_

The curtains open up again with the mount crumpet scene with Cloud standing looking triumphant and Red XIII sitting by Cloud's feet.

"Pooh-pooh to the Whos!" _he was grinch-ish-ly humming._ "They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming! They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do! Their mouths will hang open a minute or two. Then all the Whos down in Who-ville will all cry BOO-HOO! That's a noise," _grinned the Grinch,_ "That I simply must hear!"

**  
**_So he paused. And the Grinch put a hand to his ear.  
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.  
It started in low. Then it started to grow..._

_But the sound wasn't sad!  
Why, this sound sounded merry!  
It couldn't be so!  
But it WAS merry! VERY!_

_He stared down at Who-ville!  
The Grinch popped his eyes!  
Then he shook!  
What he saw was a shocking surprise!_

_Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,  
Was singing! Without any presents at all!_

Some very random singing was done by the 'hidden' backstage crew due to them not been able to get the tape player to work

_  
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!  
IT CAME!  
Somehow or other, it came just the same!_

_And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,  
Stood puzzling and puzzling:_

Cloud stands scratching his head as though he is thinking about the situation as singing continues in the background

"How could it be so? It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!"

He continues to act like he is thinking

**  
**_And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.  
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!_

Tifa walks across the stage holding a large sign saying '3 Hours Later'.

"Maybe Christmas," _he thought,_ "doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more!"

_And what happened then...?  
Well...in Who-ville they say  
That the Grinch's small heart  
Grew three sizes that day!_

Cloud pulls out another Barrett outline picture with a heart drawn in it nearly breaking the outline.

_  
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,  
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light_

Cloud jumps onto the sleigh as the curtains close.

_  
And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!  
And he..._

_...HE HIMSELF...!  
The Grinch carved the roast beast!_

As the last line is spoken, Cloud, Aries, Red XIII, Vincent, Barrett, Cid and Tifa all walk out on stage and take a bow. As they do the crowd start applauding, Yuffie is heard whistling as well as trying to make her applaud the loudest. A second set of curtains close to hide the actors, they all breath a sigh of relieve. Vincent mumbles something about never again would he be involved in any plan Yuffie thought up. Cloud collapse's into a conveniently placed chair and growls as he says "never ever again… not even if my life depends on it am I acting in another play"

* * *

End of story 

Hope you enjoyed it

Please R&R

DcD signing out


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